Highland Wishes And Dreams: Scottish Regency Novella Page 2

  “I can’t breathe for missing her. Trying to live is painful and I just want to be with her. Here in the dark it’s like she is still with me.”

  Finn took a deep breath. He too hurt but this wasn’t about him. It was doing what was right for his friend and Wen’s son. “I’m sure she is with you. She’s probably trying to clip you round the ear for not looking after your son. You’re the only parent he has. Now how about you drink this tea and eat this scone while the bath is filling.”

  A servant had arrived with a tray and Finn took it and walked to sit on the bed next to his friend. He pushed the bottles aside with his hip.

  “She’s gone, hasn’t she?” Andrew asked. “And nothing I do will bring her back.”

  Finn looked at the tears on Andrews face and felt himself tearing up. “Yes. She’s gone but not from our hearts. And she lives on through Jake. Those of us who loved her will remember her always,” and he handed Andrew a mug of tea, which thankfully Andrew began to drink. “I’m sorry I didn’t stay longer after the funeral. I was too caught up in my own grief.”

  “I would not have noticed if you were here anyway. I wish I’d never married her.” Andrew’s words made Finn flinch.

  “I’m glad you did marry her. I’m glad she knew such a love with you.”

  Andrew looked at him. “I thought you would hate me for taking your sister from this world.”

  “You did not take her from us, Andrew. This is not your fault. It was God’s will. It is God I’m angry at, never you.”

  Andrew gulped down his tea before Finn handed him a scone to eat. “I’m never letting Galina marry. Not if this can happen to her.”

  Andrew’s words drew him up short as it mirrored his earlier thoughts. Fear was ruling them both it would seem. “I’m sure Galina would disagree with that. When Wen learned she was with child, she told me Galina couldn’t wait to get married and have children of her own.” An image of Galina big and round with his child flashed in his mind’s eye and his heart began to hammer in his chest. “She has been looking after Jake for you.”

  Andrew rubbed a hand over his unshaven face. “My son looks like Wen.”

  “Aye, he does. He’s a bonny babe.”

  The two men sat looking at each other both probably consumed with their own private memories of Wen. Then Andrew threw back the covers on a sigh and said, “Best I have this bath then.”

  Finn smiled. “Good. I was worried my mother might invade this room if you didn’t join us this evening. She told me we are still not so big that she couldn’t put us over her knee for a good spanking.”

  It was wonderful to see a smile quiver on Andrew’s lips. “I can’t believe you’ve never told her that her spankings never hurt, even when we were boys.”

  “Go have your bath and I’ll inform Galina you have rejoined the world. She was very worried about you.”

  Andrew stopped at the door to his dressing room where they could hear the bath being filled. “Thank you, Finn. Bear with me over the coming days. It’s not going to be easy. I’ll need your support.”

  “What are friends for? I loved her too, and I cannot begin to understand the depth of your grief compared to mine. We will help each other, and mother, and Galina. Let’s make Wen proud.”

  On that note Andrew nodded and disappeared into the dressing room.

  Chapter 4

  Finn had worked a miracle. Her brother had made it down for dinner and had drunk very little. He had also visited the nursery and spent some private time with Jake. She had stood outside the door of the nursery just in case, but after he had cried for a wee moment, he had sat in the chair with his son in his arms telling him the story of how he’d fallen in the stream because he’d been trying to impress Wen.

  She’d crept away to bed and had the best night’s sleep she’d had since Wen’s death.

  This morning she’d ridden out alone to her secret glen. It was rumored that if you wished hard enough, a Fae appeared and granted your wish. If she’d had time she’d have ridden here and begged for Wen’s life, but she’d died before Galina could saddle the horse. Galina knew no one, not even the Fae, could bring Wen back from the dead.

  As she walked through the glen leading her horse, Legion, she stopped to pick a wild flower. She knew what she wanted to wish for but that would be selfish at this time. She wanted Finn to love her—not as a friend but as a lover. She wanted a love like Wen and Andrew shared—even if it was for only a short time.

  She was about to lead Legion over to the fallen tree to remount when, as if the Fae had been listening to her thoughts, Finn came galloping into the glen. Why did just one look at him set her body afire? Her heart surged deep within her chest and she had to hold back her wish. He pulled his stallion to a halt with ease.

  “Galina. I hope I have not intruded on your peace.”

  “Not at all. I was just about to remount.”

  Finn looked around the small glen. “It’s a beautiful place. The stream behind the copse sounds almost magical.”

  “The legend is that the Fae favor this glen and grant wishes to those who they deem deserving.”

  Finn’s laugh irked her a bit but she was not surprised. Andrew had laughed when she’d brought him here many years ago.

  “You’re a bit old to believe in the Fae.”

  She ignored Finn and mounted Legion, determined to enjoy the ride home. She had much to do this afternoon. The christening to organize, Jake’s christening gown to complete. Wen had embroidered the gown herself and Galina needed to ensure it was ready for tomorrow.

  Finn walked his horse to stand next to her. “Not in the mood for teasing I see.”

  She shook her head.

  “No. I suspect it’s not been an easy two months. You could have written to me. I would have come sooner.”

  “You were dealing with your own grief and I knew the christening was coming. I had hoped to get through to Andrew by then, but I could not.” She had not known how to help her brother.

  “Andrew just needs time.”

  Finn’s eyes filled with sorrow. She nodded. “I’m just thankful that he is taking an interest in Jake.”

  “Aye. That is a very good sign.” Finn sat silently obviously deep in thought. “There is one thing that I may need your help with.”

  She looked up. “Anything.”

  “Wen’s ring.” Galina held her breath. “Mother wants it returned.”

  Galina knew all about Wen’s stunning emerald ring. The pair had talked about it many a night by the fire. Wen thought it held special powers, and in return Galina brought Wen to this glen and told her about the Fae. It was their secret. Wen told her she had wished on the ring that Galina would marry Finn so that they would be sisters. That had not come true and now Wen was gone.

  “I’m sure Andrew has the ring safe.”

  Finn’s lips thinned. “Before I came here, I had written to Andrew requesting the return of the ring as per the marriage contract, and Andrew said no.”

  “This is between you and Andrew.”

  Finn’s blue eyes searched her face. “I would like you to be there when I ask for it once again. I’m hoping that will help.” Then he rubbed a hand over his face. “Is there a reason why Andrew would want to hold on to it? Something I don’t realize. It might help me broach the subject if I knew why he refused.”

  Galina swallowed back a reply. She knew why. Wen had given the ring to Andrew before they wed. She told him it was her keepsake for their daughter, and that as long as he had it, she would stay in his heart forever. He wore it on a chain around his neck. I don’t think either of them realized how short a life together they would have. She knew deep in her bones Andrew would never part with it.

  And if Finn could not understand, this would tear their families apart. She would perhaps never see Finn again.

  She kicked her heels and Legion began to walk out of the glen and Finn followed. She gathered her courage with her reins and asked, “May I understand why it is so import
ant that the ring be returned?”

  “That’s fair. The ring is a five-hundred-year old heirloom on my mother’s side. It is supposed to be handed down from mother to eldest daughter. On Wen’s death it was supposed to go to her daughter, if she had no daughter, to Emily, or Emily’s daughter. Mother is distraught at losing Wen, so is insisting the ring must go to Emily. She doesn’t wish to be the first mother to forsake tradition. She feels it’s a bad omen.”

  Bad omen? The bad omen had already occurred. Galina thought the ring hadn’t helped Wen. Did Emily even want it? But she understood how Lady Stuart was feeling. But she also understood Andrew’s attachment. She felt trapped in a feud not of her making but one that could affect her life significantly.

  “So, tell me. Why would Andrew be so attached to this ring?”

  Because it was Wen’s, silly. “I have no idea.” The lie slipped out before she could even think. All she knew was she had to have time to think through this situation. Perhaps Andrew, now that he was at least joining the land of the living, might change his mind and give it back. As she urged Legion into a canter, she knew Andrew would never part with the ring.

  * * *

  She was lying. There was something Galina was not telling him, and for the first time he questioned if he really knew her. He didn’t really. He’d kept his distance knowing she was Wen and Emily’s best friend and Andrew’s sister. She’d simply been someone who had always been in their lives.

  As he watched her ride ahead of him, it suddenly struck him that Galina was no longer a young girl. She was a woman. She was the same age as Wen and Emily but as yet unmarried. Why was she not wed?

  She was the daughter of an Earl, with a considerable dowry. She should have had plenty of offers. But add to that, she was a bonny lass. Tall and slender, she skipped through life like a deer in the forests at the back of the estate. Quiet, and cautious, but full of fun, when she felt safe with those around her. She’d been painfully shy as a young girl. When she came to stay with the twins, every time he smiled or talked to her, she’d flushed bright red. Andrew had teased him that she was infatuated with him, but he’d brushed that aside. He was the only boy she saw on a regular basis.

  As a man he could appreciate all her assets but he thought of her more as a sister than as a woman. He didn’t have lustful thoughts when he saw her. Was that because of Andrew and their friendship?

  He watched her as she stood up in the stirrups to take the hedge in front of them and suddenly, he was fixated on the nice round bottom pointing his way. A wave of heat hit him. In a flash he imagined what Galina looked like underneath her riding attire and his thoughts were certainly not sisterly in nature.

  He shook his head and almost came off his stallion as he too followed her over the hedge. When she turned her head to grin at him, lightning may as well have struck him, because all of a sudden, those lips were a temptation. His mind whirled with sensual thoughts. What would Galina taste like? Would her skin be as silky soft as he imagined? Would her curves cushion him? Would her pert breasts fill his hands, his mouth?

  Why had he never noticed what a beautiful woman she had become? Wen had told him years ago that he would wed Galina, and he’d scoffed. At the memory of Wen his lustful thoughts disappeared. How could he be thinking of romantic notions when his sister was barely in her grave?

  Now was not the time to pursue Galina. He would do Wen proud, and think about his future at the end of the twelve months of mourning.

  As they trotted into the stable yard, he could not help himself. He vaulted from his horse and helped Galina dismount. He marveled at her slim waist and even when her feet were firmly on the ground his hands remained on her hips and he stood looking down at her. At his stare she licked her lips and fire ignited in his groin. He watched her chest rise and fall, her breathing becoming faster. How long they stood there like that he could not tell, so caught up in this new vision of Galina.

  “Thank you for helping me dismount, Finn, but I need to get on. The christening…”

  Finn dropped his hands and stood back. “Of course. I must find Andrew anyway.”

  A bleak look flashed across her face before she turned and made her way into the house. He stood watching her departure willing her to turn around. If she turned to look at him, she was interested in him. He would know. He’d almost given up hope when, just as she was about to step inside, she peered over her shoulder at him and he smiled. When she smiled back his world burst into color.

  Now he needed to find Andrew but not just about the ring. About Galina too. Finn wasn’t stupid. He would wait until after the christening to talk with his friend about the ring. He hoped he could get Galina to tell him what pertinent fact she was withholding about the ring before then.

  Chapter 5

  Galina knocked on Andrew’s study door and didn’t wait for an answer before entering. She needed to talk with Andrew before Finn did. “Andrew, we need to talk.”

  She drew up short. Her brother was not alone. Praise be. He was with Mr. Fisher the estate manager. It was wonderful to see her brother taking an interest. Mr. Fisher had been frustrated with her abilities, but someone had to provide guidance to the man while Andrew was indisposed.

  “Lady Galina, a pleasure to see you.” Mr. Fisher greeted her. “I was just explaining to his lordship what a wonderful job you have been doing in his absence.”

  “I’m sure I made all manner of mistakes.”

  Andrew flashed her a warm smile. “Nonsense. Can we talk later or is it urgent? I need to finish going over some reports with Mr. Fisher before he leaves.”

  She waved her hand in the air. “It can wait. I’ll be up in the nursery for a while. Come and find me when you are free.”

  She left and closed the study door behind her. Biting her lip, she decided to take the opportunity to see if Andrew still wore the ring round his neck. She would seek out Larry and ask, and also search Andrew’s draws to see if the ring was there. If it wasn’t, it was most likely round his neck. Which did not bode well for handing the ring back.

  She took some towels with her to Andrew’s room just in case she was caught snooping. Luckily, Larry was absent and she took her time searching. As she’d thought, the ring was not here.

  She looked at the clock on Andrew’s mantle and realized she needed to get on. Mrs. Wilson would want to discuss the food for the christening. She stepped out of Andrew’s bedchamber and collided with a solid wall of muscle.

  “I beg your pardon…”

  Her words faded as she looked into Finn’s blue eyes.

  “Are you lost?” She knew Finn was not lost. He had no need to be in this wing of the castle.

  “I was searching for Andrew,” Finn finally said.

  “He’s in his study. Come I’ll show you the way.”

  Finn stood hesitating. He threw a glance towards Andrew’s bedchamber. She could see him trying to think up a reason to be free to search Andrew’s room and she wondered if he’d come out and ask her if he could.

  The he turned and took her arm with a sinfully charming smile. “Let’s go visit my nephew.”

  “That’s where I was going,” and she smiled back willing the dread rioting in the pit of her stomach to settle. As they strolled back to the main staircase she blurted out. “Promise me you’ll wait until after the christening to talk to Andrew about the ring. I couldn’t bear it if Jake’s day was—upset—in any way.”

  Finn looked down and studied her face. “I promise not to mention the ring until after the baptism. But I wish you’d tell me what has you so concerned. Even though your brother has decided to face his future, you still think Andrew will deny my request. I know Andrew. He must have a good reason.”

  “I wouldn’t know.” At his raised eyebrow she added. “I don’t have his confidences. Not since Wen came along. She was his world.”

  And therein lay the problem. How did she explain to Finn, a man who likely had never experienced, or looked for the love that Wen and Andrew shared
, what this loss has done to her brother? How could Finn possibly understand the gaping wound in Andrew? He wasn’t here each day to see how Andrew’s smile lit up the minute Wen walked in the room. Finn hadn’t seen the secret smiles, the brushing of hands, the stolen kisses… She had, and it broke her heart to see Andrew suffer, but she knew the warm memories would feed his soul for the rest of his life, until he could let Wen go just a little and marry again.

  She let go of Finn so he could greet his nephew.

  Galina watched Finn with the wee babe. He was a natural. He’d make a wonderful father. Finn caught her staring at him. “He looks so much like Wen, doesn’t he?”

  She merely nodded. “He has her manor too. He’s such a good, happy babe.”

  Finn came to sit beside her cradling Jake who lay content looking into his uncle’s eyes.

  She reached for his little hand and marveled at the strength of the grip on her finger.

  “I cannot wait to hold my babe in my arms.” She couldn’t believe she’d spoken those words out loud.

  “Even after what happened to Wen?”

  She shrugged. “It’s God’s will. Emily was fine. Besides, to bring something so wonderful into this world is worth the risk.”

  Finn shook his head. “And they say men are the brave ones.”

  He sat quietly before asking, “Why have you yet to marry if you want children? I thought you’d marry when Emily and Wen did.”

  She took a deep shuddery breath. Say it… Tell him you’re waiting for him. However, the words would not come. Instead she uttered, “I want to make the right choice. I want the right man, not simply a husband. You probably don’t think about things like this, but men have their estate business, their mistresses, and children. I don’t want to be left lying in my bed night after night alone. I want what Wen and Andrew have—had.”